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Saturday, May 26th, 2001
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11:10 pm - Plastic orange dinosaurs.
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I bought these wonderful little earings today. Each one is a single tiny flower, with a stalk and two tiny leaves. And the whole thing is made of colored crystal. It's probably about as big 1/4 of a fingernail. They match my other earings. I have my ear pierced three times and a cartilage so it's kind of hard to find earings that look well together. But they all match!
Piercings are fun.
I'd like to get my belly button pierced. But, it is kind of overrated. Everyone and thier mother seems to have a belly button ring. Next on my list would have to be my tongue. I would love to get my tongue peirced. But it might make a lot of noise when it hits against the roof of my mouth because that's where my retainer will be. And it could be annoying.,
Pooples.
****
My friend Christie always used to wear these ridiculous earings. One time, she wore these plastic looking orange dinasaur's. I personally didn't really care what kind of earings people wore, but my friends apparantly did. I remember them talking about how corny Christie was and how she needed to grow up, while they still brought lunchboxes to school. And i remeber one time, when they decided to tell Christie. They walked up to her and said Christie, we just wanted to tell you that your earrings are really corny and that you need to grow up and get some better taste.And to this, Christie said nothing. I never saw her wearing those earrings again.
*tata/
current mood:  indifferent
current music: Sincerly Me-A New Found Glory
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| Sunday, May 13th, 2001
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3:50 pm - i truly hate my father.
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i think, that out of all the people on this earth, *my father* is the only one i truly hate. But i don't really know what hating someone really feels like so this could be anything from blatent dislike to pure hate. I don't know. And i just don't understand how any human can be cabable of being so horribly nasty. I just really don't like him. And i don't ever remember even having a miniscule amount of love for him. Now some of you might say, why do you hate him so much?what did he ever do to you? And for those of you who may wonder,.,.,
I dislike/hate my father for the following reasons.
1.when he found out i was to be born, he was not even the least bit excited, if not dissapointed.
2.when i was about to be born, my mother said 'i'm going to have the baby please drive me to the hospital' and he just looked at her, didn't say a word and left for work, leaving my mom to drive herself to the hospital in pain.
3.When i was two, i remember playing with this plastic squeaky hammer i had, and i was banging everything around the house with it. So i banged him on the head with it. And then the tyrant went balistic. He picked me up, started shaking me violently, (i was screamed and crying the whole time)took me to my room( still shaking), and threw me into my crib where i hit my head on the side of it. Then he stood there for about an hour yelling at me.Then he left. And i just layed there and cried until my grandmother came. She was like my savior.
4.When i was three he slapped my grandmother.My mother called the cops on him and he was taken away.
5.When i was four(my parents had already gotten divorced), he came to my house for no reason at all.I remember my aunt and grandma taking me downstairs with them and then hearing all the screaming comeing from upstairs.i mananged to sneak up the stairs and i looked out the door and witnessed my father assualting my mom. He beat her up very badly. I don't remember what happened exactly after that,if they called the cops or anything. All i remember is my mother's bruised face and body.
6.When i was 5 he put a pile of shit in front of our back door.
7.When i was 6 he came to my school while it was in session and basically called the secratary a dumbass. He just came in for no reason and started saying "no you know what 1+1 is?no you don't because you're a stupid american"(mind you, it was said in broken English) I saw it because classes were switching at the moment and my class walked by there.
8.one time, when he came for visitation, i went into his car and he was drunk.he started babling about nothing and i got out of the car and told him to go home.he said ok. His car stood in front of my house for about an hour before it left.
9.he screams at me like a mad beast whenever i see him.
10.He's racist. One time when i was 7 we went to popeye's. And we sat at a table together. There were no napkins and because of this he went balistic again. He started screaming "These black people are so dirty!!they don't even have napkins here those dirty black people!!i hate those black people!!"i never sat with him at a table ever again.
11.He cheated me out of heaps of child support checks. He actually owes me ten thousand dollars. My mother could take him to court but she's afraid he might kill her.
well.i could go on forever, but my fingers are tired.
and that is why, my friends, i hate my father so.
*tata
--RoR
current mood:  pissed off
current music: *has anyone seen my underware?*-the youth ahead
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9:45 am - scary aisles.
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i just woke up from a bizarre dream. And much like other dreams, this one had to do with stores. It started out with me and a large group of people going to this large store, with really tall, scary aisles. And somehow, i got seperated from everyone else. So i started walking around trying to find someone; but no luck. There were hardly any people in there. I saw one guy stuffing his pants and jacket with heaps of candy, and a store supervisior walk by him as if it was nothing. Then i saw one of those twirly things. Remember, back in the day, kids would use them as shoelaces, except you didn't have to tie them because they coiled up anyway? Those. I saw one of those and then, for no reason at all, i picked it up, with the intention of buying it. So then, i proceeded to wander aimlessly around the store,(Actually, calling it a store is an understaement. It was like a mall, a huge mall. West Edmunton mall even. A mall with no outlet stores was exactly what it was. Just a gigantic mallsize store filled with nothings.) Trying to find my lost friends, when i come across a stairwell going up. And suddenly, i start talking to myself in a british accent and i say..."hmm...a stairwell going up...maybe i should go up there."
So i did go up. And with every step i'd say 'up' in a huffy puffy fashion. And when i finally got up there i saw all my friends again, and they ran up to me, showing me all the things they bought. They even bought some things for me! However, i don't quite remember what, exactly they bought.
So, my drwam ends with all of us walking out of the hellhole of a store, laughing, talking and just being glad we were out of there. And i lightly fiddled with my coily.
and i woke up.
****
For as long as i can remember, i've always hated going shopping. I loved the clothes and toys i got out of it naturally, but i hated the stores. They just scared me. They've always scared me and always will. I just don't like the environment.
I hate dealing with the salespeople. Sometimes, i can barely get one foot in the door without some store person rushing over with thier "how are you?"'s and "welcome to ________"'s and "is there anyway i can help you?"'s. I wish they would all just leave me in peace with my store going expierience. It's nerve racking as it is -I don't need people harassing me about clothes, and making it even more nerve racking.
I hate trying on clothes. Actually i can tolerate it, if the fitting room are self operative. So, that way, i can open them up myself and get clothes myself. However, i hate it when the fitting rooms are kept locked, and you have to keep asking someone to open them for you. And after the third time, they open it with an annoyed look on thier face and make stupid jokes like "we should get you your own key eh?" in an annoyed voice. Well, maybe if you left your godamn fitting rooms open, you wouldn't have to pick up your lazy ass everytime someone wants to try something on. Simple.
For me hell=an eternity spent wandering around stores.
********
In the daytime, the bird's chirp like mad beasts but in the morning (now) i can hear a single bird doing a repeatative tweet.
Tweet.
Tweet.
The early bird gets the worm. Well, Mr. Early Bird, may i ask, What the hell are you doing tweeting when you should be out looking for your worm?hm???
uh.oh.
he just stopped tweeting.
Good luck in your worm search Mr. Early Bird.
*ok i love you tata
--RoR
current mood:  discontent
current music: *3rd and long*-a new found glory
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| Saturday, May 12th, 2001
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1:04 pm - poop
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i feel like poopie on a stick
current mood:  sad
current music: biggest mistake--the youth ahead
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(comment on this)
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12:30 pm - the death of me
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hi.i'm Penelope.and i'm dead.i died about a month ago.
***
i shut my eyes tight,
to lock up my tears,
but they won't stay in.
*tata
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